1. Bring debt into a relationship started with debt.
2. Continue to spend money on things that are not going towards paying off that debt.
3. Decide to spend money (a considerable amount) on a permanent piece of art that your spouse thinks is "ugly" and "too big" but that you couldn't be happier about.
4. Don't be clear about the fact that you really want to get this piece of art and then the night before you are scheduled to have it done, get in a big fight about it. Make sure that you end this fight with both of you thinking that you are getting what you want. (you=art, spouse=no art) This can be best achieved by not continuing to talk about the subject and pretending that everything is okay.
5. Go in for your scheduled appointment which lasts 6 LONG hours without showing your spouse the final approved art until it's about to be started. You can do this easily with your camera phone since he is working and can't be there to offer ideas/object.
6. Go home afterward and immediately feel the tension created by you walking in the room. You can verify the tension created by offering to show your artwork to your spouse and see the loathing on their face as they grunt at it.
7. Hide upstairs in the bedroom, crying, because your spouse thinks that you don't care about his opinions at all. When that couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, the reason that you weren't very forthcoming about the artwork was because you care so much about his opinion that if he were to say something negative about it, you'd talk yourself out of getting it. Even though YOU really liked it. You merely wanted to get something you like and enjoy it because YOU liked it. Unfortunately, it also happens to be permanent. So from now on, you'll look at this beautiful art and under it's beauty will lie this horrible guilt and frustration.
8. Avoid talking about all this, because you know it will end badly and avoiding confrontation is what got both of you into this position in the first place. Instead just sit at opposite ends of the couch, fighting back tears and hoping that it will all be okay. Which, of course, you know it won't be until you talk about it.
Denial is an evil and dangerous thing, it's also really easy to fall into. And I'm in pretty deep.
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2 comments:
I think you know what I would write if I was to write you a long comment. I'm done with school around nine p.m. tomorrow if you need/want to talk or just hang out and do some cathartic knitting. Love to you lady.
*big hugs*
Hang in there, sweetie ... let me know if you need someone to talk to.
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